The Innate Musings of an Insane Mind :)

            Every Day is special. It does teach us something that we could cherish and keep along all through our journey of life. A year of Fortunes,triumphs,serendipities, griefs, and discontentments, just came to an end. Its the time to reflect upon those moments that lit our lives, made us shred a tear, think profusely and eventually made us this better person, that we are now! ‘Another New year is here.. Another year to live! To banish worry, doubt, and fear, To love, laugh and give!’ Let's celebrate the year end, thanking Him for all those Blessings, Love and care bestowed. Let the year ahead inspire us to achieve everything that we longed for! Have a great year Ahead! :)

                       Words! I always believed they had the power to heal, express, and give strength. Even thought, I could play with them, and build a world out of them. A world of magical words that could mesmerize,enthrall and well up the eyes in an instant. No more does it seem the same. Realized they are subtle.The ones that change dimensions with time!And seems like refraining all those words..as they have lost their meaning! Felt that She needs time, to analyze, respond, and move ahead. Surprisingly I have no words left, for her!

                       Long days, & exasperating thoughts made myself busy such that I eventually forgot to post most of my thoughts these days. And since most of them stay irrelevant right now, let me end up posting a thought that striked me the past week cause, it seems relevant and sensible even now. J -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                       The tiresome day and the climate doesnt seem to affect the thought stream. It stayed as lucid as it was. And the clarity in those made me feel exalted and inspired.                       Relationships. That was the thought of the day! The concept of the need to name them or not! I was wondering all day long, how they could be defined, how those boundaries are to be set. A definition that was needed to move ahead, still couldnt be given at an instant. It was a text that made me ponder on this. It said like this. "The most beautiful re

                            Having proclaimed that the experience of "falling in love" is a sort of illusion which in no way constitutes real love, let me conclude by shifting into reverse and pointing out that falling in love is in fact very, very close to real love. Indeed, the misconception that falling in love is a type of love is so potent precisely because it contains a grain of truth.The experience of love also has to do with ego boundaries, since it involves an extension of one's limits. One's limits are one's ego boundaries.When we extend our limits through  love, we do so by reaching out, so to speak, toward the beloved, whose growth we wish to nurture For us to be able to do this,our beloved object must first become beloved to us; in other words we must be attracted towards,invested in or committed to an object outside of ourselves; beyond the boundaries of self. Psychiatrists call this process of attraction, investment and commitment "cathexis&qu

                Why do we all tend to make mistakes even when we know we are on the way to them? They do say we learn from mistakes and move ahead. Still mistakes aren't those things we consciously do I guess. They just happen. Though all those factors does count, still the depth of those wounds makes us realise the magnitude of those mistakes. Forgiveness is the sole way to the peace of mind. Yeah,  forgive and forget,that's the mantra of the day, though the latter doesn't seem that practicable in life, its worth a try to move ahead.                   Well, some things are meant to happen. How ever hard we try to curb on those notions, they seems to echo everytime we conciously try to suppress them. And at a certain point we do find ourselves stuck up in the middle, as if we have lost our way to trail ahead!. And these dilemmas do make us realise that, a retreat or a retaliation is not worth at the moment..And we are forcefully convinced to believe in letting go off thing

                          Most of the arguments I had till date has surprisingly earned me   the people, on whom I could count on always. May be that’s why I always used to encourage those silly fights and arguments, at the end of which I could get either a lesson or a person as they puts it. And today I can’t help writing this post in spite of my nerves longing for a deep sleep, to unleash the draining effect, those hectic dosage of lectures of the day, incurred on them :P                          A meet up that made me inspire, ravish and invoked, a great deal of 'that stuff', for which I was searching within me for so long. I must say this was the ever best day of this whole year. Have never met someone so influential all this year. Some people make you think, you may relate with some, respect the thoughts of some,( though you dont pretty well relate to them) and may find some others purely rhetoric, intriguing and insensible. This was a real exception from all those. An

Luke 7:35 By the river Piedra I sat down and wept. There is a legend that everything that falls into  the waters of this river—leaves, insects, the feathers of birds—is transformed into the  rocks that make the riverbed. If only I could tear out my heart and hurl it into the current,  then my pain and longing would be over, and I could finally forget. By the river Piedra I sat down and wept. The winter air chills the tears on my cheeks, and  my tears fall into the cold waters that course past me. Somewhere, this river joins  another, then another, until far from my heart and sight all of them merge with the sea. May my tears run just as far, that my love might never know that one day I cried for him. May my tears run just as far, that I might forget the River Piedra, the monastery, the  church in the Pyrenees, the mists, and the paths we walked together. I shall forget the roads, the mountains, and the fields of my dreams the dreams that will  never come true. I remember my &q

We don’t condemn it as immature

                  This journey always seems to me like an exploration. A journey that revealed to me, the vibrant and exuberant 'me' which stayed within, all these years.The audacity of these thoughts makes me to grow beyond the self; which I always thought was the source of these versatile notions . The freedom which I believed in, had no boundaries though; now, do I realise, Life was, and is about constraints. Constraints that chain you! And its by the accceptance of these, that we learn to live.                  Those whims were magical though, doesnt seem to be sensible. May be it was the 'Girl' in me who made me this desperate and dumb. Though within these whims and notions I searched harder for those truths, failed everytime pathetically. Truth! We live, in search of them. Yearn hard, to live up to them. Still fail desperately every time, trying to be true to ourselves.                   A predicament of ideals and virtues that create a perfect schism betwe

I see that Hilal is starting to feel uncomfortable. ‘I’m not interested in what our relationship was in a past life. We’re here in the present. In Novosibirsk, you made me forgive you and I did. Now I’m asking you a favour: tell me that you love me. ’ I hold her hand. ‘You see this river? “ Well, in the living room in my apartment at home is a painting of a rose immersed in just such a river. Half of the painting was exposed to the effects of the water and the elements, so the edges are a bit rough, and yet I can still see part of that beautiful red rose against a gold background. “I know the artist. In 2003, we went together to a forest in the Pyrenees and found a dried-up stream and we hid the painting under the stones on the stream bed. ‘The artist is my wife. “When I met her, I was convinced that our relationship wouldn’t work out, and for the first two years, I was sure that one of us would leave. “ In the five years that followed, I continued to think that we had simply got u

                 Now Hectic is what the day can be called. Still Love this capriciousness with which the hours stretch ahead..:)                 Though a tangibitily eases off all those woes, this 'Me' seems to be an amazing maze which shreds vehemently all those strains and fathoms, still yearning to stretch to a greater magnitude..Albeit its quite an ironical discovery of the self. :)

"I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I've learned that it's not what happens to people, It's what they do about it. I've learned that no matter how thin you slide it, there are always two sides. I've learned that you should always have loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you'll see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you

              Apart from all these good things that happen around me,I do sense something wrong somewhere. Though I thought, it would be just a notion of mine and did try to ignore it everytime it casted a spell on my thoughts, Life has started to prove it again I guess!. My notions and forecasts do happen for sure..experiences do count that. Still whats that to handle, for which my mind dares to stretch itself to this magnitude?                        Well, r easons evolve in this journey and we are left back, just to jot them together and to read this exiciting story that life sketches for us every moment :)

                An exciting phone call made my day. Made me Elated, surprised and thoughtful at the same time. Should I feel proud of being part of yet another romance blooming around, or is it high time I should caution about the serious after effects it could bring down to you people in future? Makes me sound weird! Whatever :P My thoughts do take a deviation of 180 degrees around now! :D -To falling in love. How can people fall in love just like that? Sounds utterly insensible,and illogical to the prudent girl in me :P They do say, It just happens..a kind of serendipity that life reveals at the right time. A sensation that every one yearns for; to love and to be loved! Must be a real magic that works absolute wonders. :) Reminds me of that song of Bryan Adams! :) "Look into my eyes, you will see What you mean to me Search your heart, search your soul And when you find me there you'll search no more Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for You

                           Its seems like a devastated seashore now; devastated with those deviant subtle thoughts that sounds utterly unexplainable and purely insensible, everytime I take an effort to sketch them completely. Life gives us certain moments, to hold on to at times, to cherish deep in our heart and to feel the warmth; those smiles and tears made you feel, everytime those moments flash around the corners of our minds! There are always certain questions for which we yearn hard to get the answers, but fail blatanly however hard we trail on them..They seem to move away with each realisations of us. Well philosophical thoughts are on the run; even the stars do conspire the birth of a philosopher these months :P                      Those ecstasy filled days, and all those emotional storms had an un-relenting impact that made myself free of everything that holded me back all these years. And contentment is all I feel right now. A   year of experiences; apart from which I could

          As I sit before my laptop now, my emotions are surreal. I can't seem to write anymore, vague notions, whimsical whims and faint ideas...Nothing else seem to come to me at this time. I can sense an emotion filled post coming as I am typing frantically. Somehow, there's a strong form of contradiction that exists within me at this moment, a part of me is overjoyed, filled with ecstasy; yet a part of me longs for something intangible, something that I myself do not know.            Ecstasy has filled my soul for the past few weeks, but somehow today I woke up feeling different. My intuition seems to fill my head with doubts that cannot be explained, doubts that cannot be put into words; I can't explain what I'm feeling right now - complicated. Intricacy once again unveils itself   within me, complicating whatever that has already been simplified. Emotions aren't exactly stable at the present moment, intuition tells me to not push on, yet emotions continue to

           Perfect things, perfect people, and perfect stories! Seems like perfectionism is the talk of the hour everywhere. Whats so mystical about this perfectionism, that people around yearn for that so badly? Everyone strives hard to be that perfect person, with the perfect relations, and perfect blessings to carve the niche of a perfect life! But very few of us do realize that this perfectionism is more or less like a mirage that makes you trail on ahead. Albeit, its this journey of imperfections to meet those outspoken perfections, that makes life worthwhile. We never realise the sweetness and beauty of those imperfect things in our lives, as we often find ourselves too busy,in our inborn struggle to be that perfect, flawless, person of the legends!                  I used to feel pity on people when they complain about the lack of perfect opportunities or rather situations that could make a their life a perfect story. I always wished hard, they realised, its in those imperfecti

                    Life has been an experience from the day I stepped into this world; And I know Its the same with everyone.We strive hard and evolve through all these enthralling experiences in hope of being a better individual with each passing day. While some times all those laughters, love and care do colour our lives, there are for sure days of blues, when we do sink deep down, shattered losing our hopes, zest and vigour!! But those days do give you new lessons, new realisations and a way new perceptions to move ahead in your life.Everyone we meet in our lives do teach us something; something that we can never forget in our lives and depart by giving us a bouquet of experiences which are sure to enrich us as a human being.. Its just that we have to realize those magical moments life at times, gift us and move ahead with that new outlook in life.                     I have often heard people complaining about being hurt, by words, verses and actions of others; even I do have! An

                These days were the days of realisations or to be exact, days of introspection and some serious thinking I guess! Its when we get the time to peep into ourselves and reflect on our thoughts that we discover the most veiled secrets even about ourselves! The time spent on ourselves will never be wasted, It makes you understand the true person you are.And its really wonderful meeting that person. :)           All these years of my life I feared of being committed; whether its a dream or a relationship or anything that needed commitment! Commitments scared me like anything! It may be an insecurity of the self; a fear of whether being able to live up to that commitment, a fear of being hurt and hurting people in the long run.. It  really might sound a little weird and strange, yet am compelled by my innate curiosity to understand what people define as love. Our lives run like a poetry of love, and I believe, for its in love that we grow, evolve and rise up to our poten

                       Sometimes we worry a lot on taking decisions due to insecurities,and fear of the unknown, even when we are quite sure of being on the right side of things. Apprehensions  make us think,think and think, to finally just get the bones out of those fleshes! Well its the maturity thing that takes the play! We loose that complacency once we had ,as we grow up! Risks make us think twice, future concerns us a lot, and  decisions are great things to be taken quite thoughtfully, analysing each and every strain of those unending saga of troubles that may overshoot in the long run.                       I wish hard, I could return to a time when life was simple- When all you knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know then,what you didn't know and you didn't care of that too. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or

                    Read a really good post in Shobha De's Blog, expressing concern over the literal death of flirting in the society. Well  these days nobody has the time to flirt around and waste, thats something true. Forget the case of flirting, what really concerns me is the pathetic atitude of people, not only on flirting or kidding around, but even on being complimented by the opposite sex on looks or any other kind. Women are on par with men so much that, they have grown stable financially,and have become independent to raise their voice, which is something really good. Still why should we narrow our perspectives as a social being? I have often observed women getting damn upset on hearing a comment from a guy on looks and gestures. Infact I used to wonder even, what is that thing that upsets them!                 A comment or a compliment should be taken in a right sense, and thats something today's dudettes lack! And guys have surely become too modest and coyish, fear

The spring brought with it, A mystical feel in the air. A fragrance so seducing,. Spreading all the way around. The magic in the air whispered to her, Those  ever veiled truths of life. The ones she believed to be lies once, The ones that tangled her life so far. The woes and worries of yesterdays, Made her wage a war from within. A war of the self, a war of the ages, In search of the truth in lies and lies in truths! The swaying trees and falling leaves, Shared the tales of her heart. The air around was whimsical, And made a smile, linger on her lips for a while! The secrets of yesterdays were no more the same, Here they flutter, with life and vigor! To reach the heights they belonged to, Inspite of all the odds that laid ahead! A walk of miles through those paths, Made her wonder where it leads to! Trails of the ones who went ahead, Gave her the spirit to thread on. A journey of hope,in search of light, To feel the warmth and glory of solitude! A

                    A day which is to be spent bedridden! I wonder why it always happens like this. Whenever you got plenty of things to do, and you are excited of doing something, something really terrible happens or else you just get sick, not allowing you to do all those things you want to do literally! :(                     Hate this feeling of bugging on the things to do all the day! Ofcourse its the mind that can work now! No way the thoughts can be stopped! Chaining you all the way, hopping from one thing to the other, it moves as if on a roller coaster ride! And I swear its not that bad too! :)

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya Jab ghum ka saya lehraya Jab aansoo palkon tak aya Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai Duniya mein yunhi hota hai Yeh jo gehre sannate hain Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai Har pal ek naya mausam hai Kyun tu aise pal khota hai Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai! :)

              Guess its the climate today that makes me write. After long days of sun, the rain has set in. Love these silvery droplets pouring around. The nature is at its best during the Rains, I must say! :)               Sometimes we feel that the nature complements our mood. On a sunny day we feel warmer, brighter, outgoing, and on a rainy day we love to stay cosy, caressing our thoughts, making us go all the way nostalgic! Still its great to turn nostalgic, miss someone and stay deep buried in your thoughts for a while! :)              It makes me wish that I could hold this moment for a while, so that memories can make that smile linger on my lips a bit more. :)             Why do you miss people? A simple yet intriguing question! I used to ask this myself whenever I missed someone badly! The answer from within has alwayz been the same ofcourse! :)            Its when you realise that, being with them gave you the most beautiful moments of your life, which has now become th

                 Have been hearing a lot from people all around me about the changes life made them to undergo all these days ! Changes in perspective, various dimensions of life and a lot more! Even I have been thinking of them lately, to change for the better! :)                People change in hope of being better I suppose! New people, new horizons, new ambitions, new vigour! You need to change when life becomes challenging. As Paulo puts it in Aleph, Its when you discover that the old "I" along with everything you learned althrough the life, is absolutely of no use at all in the face of new challenges, and you begin to realise that, buried deep in your conscious mind, there is someone much more interesting and adventurous and more open to the world and to new experiences.Yes, welcome changes with an open heart to remain happy. :)              Everyone is special and got a purpose in life. Its just that you need to unlock that mystery of purpose, Almighty has set for

            I was just surfing through a collection of Robert Frost poems and came across this simple yet wonderful quote. It amazingly explains the way, life is all about.            We never kow while dancing all the way of life in a ring, supposing to find our inner self, the insecurities and the way to happiness in the very next step, that the secret to the way of self liberation lies deep within us, unnoticed even by ourselves. :)           Can be interpreted in another way too. As we the people supposing things all our way of life and Almighty as the centre of secrets knowing everything that goes around ! :)           Frost kept it short and simple, yet it delivers a great meaning. A truly simple quote with an intricate meaning I must say!. Loved the thought. :)

Battling between the extremities Of Life on a doldrum. Sailing ahead on and on Lure of those wishes remained forever! A word of commitment, And thy life would have changed! But never did it happen,and- Mysteries trailed all the way ahead! Laid up In the shackles of dreams, Fastened to the realities though, Thou Lord had decided the ways, For the hour of destiny! In Between the Shattered Dreams, There Lie a ray of hope! Blessed are those who find Thy way! And get solace all Thy way! Like the lines of hands that lay criss-cross, Thou makes us cross each other. Blessed are those who meet their destiny, For everything is written By Thou Lord!