The Pennukanal ! :D

I am afraid I may not stand this feel. The feeling of falling apart is pathetic. I so wanna live. I can hear the call. And I strongly feel I may not survive this. Wish hard there was a way back. Wish hard I could be that innocent again. Concerns seem to fill within, and I have become gruesomely odd. The uninterrupted analysis of where it went wrong, every day and night, is driving me nuts.I need some rest, or my brains would burst. May be a pretty long rest. A deeper sleep would suffice, a lenient escape to the other world.  Don't worry, You wont ever be blamed. Cause I have destroyed everything that reminds me of you. Nobody would ever know you ever existed.  Just couldn't destroy those reminiscence of You in me. The more I live, the more will they grow in me, rooted deeply. I have been searching and there isn't a way out, I know I am trapped. Tried all ways to get you out of my head, and you simply wont leave.Silly it may sound to you, It means much to me. Finally I find the only thing left to destroy, that reminds me of you is Me, Myself. Hilarious it is. I know I can win all arguments,  all battles, But satirically I've lost  this battle against myself. You win. And I so wish you would know, the year end marks your victory. Its not cowardliness, or lack of thinking. I so feel this is the day, this is my time.I know you wouldn't even know, when I slowly depart from here. Not a pompous depart, No diary entries as I would always do, or nothing else to reveal to the world, its you thats making my life difficult. The eight thousand texts, an email id and a hell lot of write ups and a few photographs- I destroyed them last night. Now whats left is Just this blog and Me. This has you, its life. The fact that very few know. Someday, may be years after, if justice still prevails in the charts of destiny,you would read this death note. And you should know, I had a hell lot of dreams, and I always wanted to live, even when I was Burning from within always. I did try every means to lessen this pain, to simplify it, but you never let me do that. What would happen if a candle is made to burn from both ends, It would soon burn out. That's what it is, here I burn out. Adieu.

P.S: What if I survive this? I so wish I wouldn't !